Love & Wildfire

I've tried to start writing this so many times, but could never seem to find the courage, energy, or gusto to commit. Most days are spent keeping our kids (relatively) happy and alive, the house in some sort of acceptable shape, and my sanity in check. By sundown I'm often left with very little brain space for this whole 'blog' thing. Please bear with me as I make an effort to kick this off as gracefully as possible.

My name is Erin. I was born and raised in a small beach community in Southern Rhode Island. I'm 38 and my passion, until recently, was grooming dogs for a living. I'm not a well-known writer and have only written one blog in my life, about doodles. They are all the craze, and people love them long and shaggy, which makes them extra fun to groom (not really though). But I digress, this is not a blog about grooming poodle mixes.

I write, because my heart belongs to a Wildland Firefighter. Always has, always will.

Here's a photo of us at my sister's wedding in 2017. Yes, that's an A-Star helicopter fighting a mountainous fire tattooed on my arm.

On our first 'official' date, he warned me that 'being in a relationship with a Wildland Firefighter might be the hardest thing I would ever do'. I genuinely had no freakin' clue what he meant by that. My eyes were shaped like cartoon hearts, caution thrown to the wind. I truly believed that nothing could stop me from loving this man. Oh dear, naive little me. I had a LOT to learn, and honestly still do. I didn't know what a Wildland Firefighter even was (ha!).

For the sake of my readers that also may not know, here's a brief overview. Wildland Firefighters (WFF) are typically hired by government, state, or private entities and are involved with wildland fire suppression, management, and control. Firefighters in general are a selfless bunch. It is in my humble opinion that those who fight fire in the wild have an extra special something, a love for wilderness and the added adrenaline that comes with fighting enormously vast blazes. Someone's gotta do it, right?

Most WFFs, including mine, wear unique fire-resistant clothing. A bright yellow Nomex shirt, green cargo pants, gloves, safety helmets and tall, heavy leather boots. Crew members often carry heavy packs and chainsaws miles into the wilderness. Whatever they need to fight fire and survive for the hours, days, and weeks ahead is literally on their backs. I can only imagine what it must feel like, being bogged down with all that gear, fully clothed, under the hot sun, while battling a blaze that reaches temperatures soaring into the thousands. Meanwhile I struggle to touch my own toes or walk much farther than the mailbox, but hey I'm working on it.

These brave men and women work on various crew types including engine crews, helitack crews, hotshot crews, aerial delivered crews, hand crews, and fuels crews. Crew members form a camaraderie, like family. They look out for each other during the most dangerous of times, growing close and having each other’s backs is kind of a requirement of the job. Speaking of, the 'job' can be anywhere in the country, but is usually in remote areas where communicating with loved ones back home proves tricky if not simply impossible. Couple that with being gone for upwards of 21+ days and imagine how tough that can be on both WFF and family.

Now that you have a little idea, can you fathom the strain this job can put on relationships? Communication, loyalty and trust, physical, and emotional connection all can suffer as a result. And lets not even get into finances, woo-wee, that's a tough one. Let's just say that nobody we know personally became a WFF to get rich.

Only recently have the struggles of being in a WFF relationship been recognized by organizations such as the Wildland Firefighter Foundation and the Grassroots Wildland Firefighters. Our role at home is arguably just as important as that of our counterparts. While they may slug chainsaws and Pulaskis up mountainsides, or swoop in from one aircraft or another, we spouses, partners, and close family members carry a hefty load ourselves. Our well-being is naturally linked to theirs, and vice versa.

There are numerous 'how to' and self-help books about being the spouse of a first responder such as a paramedic, structure firefighter, or police officer (including Dr. Ellen Kirschman's amazing 2nd edition of "I Love A Firefighter"). As well as published works on keeping strong and healthy military relationships. These professions all bare unmistakable similarities in risk, unpredictability and time away from family, yet I can't help but think that the world of wildland firefighter relationships deserves some extra attention, especially right now.

Wildfire danger, season 'length' and intensity seem to be increasing and changing all around us. Things are scary and unpredictable out there. Us wildfire families are due for some additional support and a hefty pick-me-up. As I write this, I can't help but think about the fires in Canada, all the WFFs and their loved ones being affected.

I want to share my own personal stories with you, the good and the bad, and all the lessons my WFF and I have learned along the way. Close friends tell me I'm 'brave' for doing this, but to be honest, I'm nervous as hell and filled with self-doubt. I've struggled with the idea of revealing our truth for all of the world to see, but something tells me maybe I should.

We aren't special by any means, and I'm certainly not a pro. I'll be the first to admit this. It's taken me a long time to figure out the 'Wildfire Wife Life'. If there's one thing I'd like to accomplish by telling all of you, it would be to know that I, and others, are not alone.

I'll do my best to post as often as possible (at least weekly at first) with stories, past and present, relating to my crazy wildfire-spouse life. I welcome your feedback and comments, and encourage my fellow spouses/partners to share their own experiences (if you feel comfortable doing so, of course). It is my belief that with and through each other's support we build strength and resilience.

My WFF and I currently live in Florida, have 2 kids (3 and 5 years old), and a dog named Buoy. Isn't he so cute?

You can find me on Instagram @iamanirishpickle or on Facebook.

Also, don't forget to join the support group on Facebook for Spouses and Partners of Wildland Firefighters.

Until we meet again,

xo Erin